First off, I just want to say that I've decided to change how I go about the 30 DSLR. I have decided that I am going to keep going, but I am going to treat it as a private journal exercise. There are several reasons behind that decision, but what it boils down to is that I couldn't really dive in too deeply and really explore this with the pressure of knowing others were going to read it. I know, I shouldn't worry, but I did and I do. If there's one that I do that comes out fantastic and I feel I should share, I absolutely will. :)
Moving on...
I have been having some crazy, crazy dreams lately. Last night, I was back in what my brain was processing to be Marquette. I had just gotten my shifts at work (and Lakeview was now more of a pet shelter than an ice arena...), and I was wandering around the Cedarville Townhomes. One of the houses had been converted in to a small shop. From that shop, I stole a half empty packet of cookies (Cinnamon-Lemon, to be specific), and took off running through Cedarville to find my truck. After tearing through all of it (and at this point, it was starting to look more like the apartments where Brandon used to live, and there were stuffed animals everywhere...) I found my truck--being driven by the lady who owned the shop. I started sobbing, she accused me of being mentally ill, I apologized profusely, she offered to forgive me only if I promised to be her friend. I agreed to, of course, but she didn't believe me... and then we turned by the mall in Marquette and in to an Arby's, taking my truck right in to the restaurant and in to the line, still screaming at each other and me still crying.
Yeah. That's actually on the more NORMAL end of what I've been having. Despite the threat of jail, it was better because of who didn't make his appearance.
Yeah, I've been having dreams with he-who-must-not-be-named in them again. The two most memorable were
-the one where he was threatening me with a hammer. I don't remember why, he was just threatening me with a hammer.
-my family had sold everything of ours and moved in to a new house by the Civic Center in TC. I was back with him, and my family was happy (!!) about that, whereas I was shocked, horrified, and completely heartbroken.
Yeah. I guess it's a good thing that a dream about being back with him and everyone being OK with that is considered a nightmare, though, eh?
I have been thinking about him a lot lately. As I've been adjusting to living with Brandon, it has been bringing back a lot of memories of 3 years ago. (Disclaimer: this has been NOTHING like 3 years ago. It has been the OPPOSITE of 3 years ago.) I'll just have these moments when he pops in to my head. He's been popping up on Facebook, too! No, I'm not friends with him-I had re-added him at one point, but I realized I had no good reason to be in touch with him, let alone friends, so I cut him out again. It's been a good 3-4 months since I've said a word to him. However, he's been showing up. You know that little window on the side of the page where it shows the people your friend has as a friend? He's been there more often than not when I'm looking at the page of someone from NMU. It's kind of annoying, really. Just go away, OK?
All right. Off to take on a big project. I'm hoping to surprise Brandon, so keep your fingers crossed it's a good surprise and not a bad one! ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment